Recent research shows that there are five kinds of sex: - The first kind of sex...SMURF SEX. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. The second kind of sex...KITCHEN SEX. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen. The third kind of sex...BEDROOM SEX. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex in your bedroom. The fourth kind of sex...HALLWAY SEX. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "F*ck You". The fifth kind of sex...COURTROOM SEX. This is when you can not stand your wife anymore, she takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.