Uncensored Jokes

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Roses are red,
Pickles are green,
I love your legs,
and what's in between
Kissing is a habit,
Fucking is a game,
Guys get all the pleasure,
Girls get all the pain
The ...

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One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight, the guy starts feeling a little horny.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the ...

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This couple comes to a new town and the guy gets a job at the local pickle factory. A few years go by and each year he wins the employee of the year award. One day in the 3rd year, he comes home looking ...

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A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the backseat, quietly reading a ...

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Once there was a rabbit and a bear living in a forest. They went out for a walk and saw a magic golden frog. The rabbit and bear said, "Goodie, three wishes!" The frog then said, "No, six wishes since ...

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Three old women are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions.
One seventy-five year old woman says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty ...

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A brunette, red head and blonde walk into an elevator with a puddle of white liquid on the floor.
The brunette looks at it and states quite matter of factly "it looks like cum"
The red ...

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A guy was walking down the street when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey, miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?" she replies and walks away.
He ...

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A young lady got into a terrible car accident. Her face was burned terribly. The doctors couldn't use any skin on her body to graft onto her face for reconstructive surgery. As a result, her husband ...

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* What does this button do?
* It's probably just a rash.
* Are you sure the power is off?
* Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?
* The odds of that ...

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It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting n a used car. He stopped and asked them why ...

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These may sound bad but the moral at the end is a good one...
I was scared at first.
It was very wide, and very long,
and it angled straight up.
I decided I had to try it once.
...

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A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves. "Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked. "No, I don't." ...